A
Andy Ison
Guest
I am totally dedicated to Andy Rourke and his gigs it is just these are my reasons:
1. Money. I would of gone to all the USA gigs if I had the money!!
2. Coaches are the cheapest form of transport not trains. It has cost me a lot going every where by train. I will start traveling more by coach I think. It usually costs me about £50 for long train journeys and then I have to find a hotel/b+b to stay in which costs me about £40 on average. The gigs usually don't cost too much and I never buy drinks so that part of it is cheap.
3. I worry about what I wear and what i look like. While i am knocking about most of the time in my flat it don't matter what i look like or what i wear. But i sort of feel like i should buy new clothes, make an effort and look ok if i go to Andy Rourke gigs which costs me more money to buy the clothes and bits sometimes i go to charity shops and cheap clothes shops. I really do spend all my money on Rourkie gigs nearly. I want to look good for Andy Rourke only but NOT for me! I don't do things like that for me! clothes shopping infact i find a knightmare I get so depressed about my body and the way i look! i get so shy in girly shops!
4. I worry Andy Rourke doesn't want me there at his gigs!! sometimes he looks so miserable that I have turned up I want to make him HAPPY more than ANYTHING and if me NOT going to his gigs makes him happy then that is what I will do not go to too many. It is like he is releaved when I am gone it is really sad for me it breaks my heart!!
5. Sometimes I know it's hard to believe but I don't even know about some of the DJ events he does!! I know he has done gigs that I wasn't aware he had done!! if you get me. Also i have found out about events after they have happened.
6. Family obligations, and things I have to do. Such as my course I was doing.
Money i suppose is the biggest problem but I know people who would say get a job. If i had a job I wouldn't be able to devote so much time to Andy Rourke!!
massage could maybe be a job for me? but I am more into music really!!
I have wanted to live in Manchester since 2001 when i first went to Manchester.
If I had loads of money the first thing I would to is have loads of plastic surgery!! I dream of having plastic surgery!! I love Manchester so much music there it is a very good place, I would love to live there!!
When I go to Andy Rourke's gigs I feel on top of the world although Andy wouldn't know that!! After the gigs is when the depression usually sets in and I think why did i make the effort he wasn't pleased to see me? sometimes my body feels like lead i get so tired and i sleep and dream about Andy Rourke as much as i can. Sleeping is all i like to do to block everything out to bloke all the hurt out!! sleeping doesn't cost anything and it is what i am good at!! the internet is my way to comunicate and find out what Andy Rourke is up to and it makes me feel close to him in a virtual way it is strange!! and yes i spend all my time on that and sleeping and eating a bit and house work sometimes i watch TV but it drains me I prefer music. That is it really now my course is over! I have tried joining Gyms and things and doing Yoga and all sorts there is a Leisure centre which doesn't cost too much but because i get so depressed just getting up is an effort for me I would like to do more exercise I just don't have the motivation!!
Would like to concentrate on music again and Andy Rourke.
I don't like to be away from my computer too much anymore in case i miss something about Andy Rourke!! so most things are out of the question for me I lead a very isolated life most of the time it is quite sad. No one would want me to talk about Rourkie 24/7 so i only talk about him on the internet. I am really quite a private person believe it or not and I keep myself to myself most of the time!! I wear big coats to cover me up part of my introverted personality!! I don't like to give myself away!! I am scared I suppose. (I am scared stiff about things happening to Andy Rourke too but when ever i see him he always seems well and ok.) It is about protection being protected from hurt!!!!!!
(i try to be honest with things I say maybe people don't like that.)
1. Money. I would of gone to all the USA gigs if I had the money!!
2. Coaches are the cheapest form of transport not trains. It has cost me a lot going every where by train. I will start traveling more by coach I think. It usually costs me about £50 for long train journeys and then I have to find a hotel/b+b to stay in which costs me about £40 on average. The gigs usually don't cost too much and I never buy drinks so that part of it is cheap.
3. I worry about what I wear and what i look like. While i am knocking about most of the time in my flat it don't matter what i look like or what i wear. But i sort of feel like i should buy new clothes, make an effort and look ok if i go to Andy Rourke gigs which costs me more money to buy the clothes and bits sometimes i go to charity shops and cheap clothes shops. I really do spend all my money on Rourkie gigs nearly. I want to look good for Andy Rourke only but NOT for me! I don't do things like that for me! clothes shopping infact i find a knightmare I get so depressed about my body and the way i look! i get so shy in girly shops!
4. I worry Andy Rourke doesn't want me there at his gigs!! sometimes he looks so miserable that I have turned up I want to make him HAPPY more than ANYTHING and if me NOT going to his gigs makes him happy then that is what I will do not go to too many. It is like he is releaved when I am gone it is really sad for me it breaks my heart!!
5. Sometimes I know it's hard to believe but I don't even know about some of the DJ events he does!! I know he has done gigs that I wasn't aware he had done!! if you get me. Also i have found out about events after they have happened.
6. Family obligations, and things I have to do. Such as my course I was doing.
Money i suppose is the biggest problem but I know people who would say get a job. If i had a job I wouldn't be able to devote so much time to Andy Rourke!!
massage could maybe be a job for me? but I am more into music really!!
I have wanted to live in Manchester since 2001 when i first went to Manchester.
If I had loads of money the first thing I would to is have loads of plastic surgery!! I dream of having plastic surgery!! I love Manchester so much music there it is a very good place, I would love to live there!!
When I go to Andy Rourke's gigs I feel on top of the world although Andy wouldn't know that!! After the gigs is when the depression usually sets in and I think why did i make the effort he wasn't pleased to see me? sometimes my body feels like lead i get so tired and i sleep and dream about Andy Rourke as much as i can. Sleeping is all i like to do to block everything out to bloke all the hurt out!! sleeping doesn't cost anything and it is what i am good at!! the internet is my way to comunicate and find out what Andy Rourke is up to and it makes me feel close to him in a virtual way it is strange!! and yes i spend all my time on that and sleeping and eating a bit and house work sometimes i watch TV but it drains me I prefer music. That is it really now my course is over! I have tried joining Gyms and things and doing Yoga and all sorts there is a Leisure centre which doesn't cost too much but because i get so depressed just getting up is an effort for me I would like to do more exercise I just don't have the motivation!!
Would like to concentrate on music again and Andy Rourke.
I don't like to be away from my computer too much anymore in case i miss something about Andy Rourke!! so most things are out of the question for me I lead a very isolated life most of the time it is quite sad. No one would want me to talk about Rourkie 24/7 so i only talk about him on the internet. I am really quite a private person believe it or not and I keep myself to myself most of the time!! I wear big coats to cover me up part of my introverted personality!! I don't like to give myself away!! I am scared I suppose. (I am scared stiff about things happening to Andy Rourke too but when ever i see him he always seems well and ok.) It is about protection being protected from hurt!!!!!!
(i try to be honest with things I say maybe people don't like that.)
