his name is Paul and he constantly looks through his window. I don't think i've ever been past his house without him seeing me. I usually give him a wave and i think he smiles back. It's hard to tell. He's such an ugly bloke, no hair or teeth and a mono brow, that when he smiles it looks like he's just eaten a spider.

He's normally fairly civil but just recently he's taken to knocking on my door and asking me odd questions. He normally wants to know what day the council are picking up the rubbish. But i think he's just lonely. And with a face like that who can blame him. I must have told him that the the council collect the rubbish on tuesday about fifty times. Yesterday he asked if i'd been having problems with the squirrels. I said no then asked him if he had been having any problems with them himself. He said 'no.'

It's like a Samuel Beckett play down this street on a bad day.

Paul has got a wife called Janie. She's friendly, polite and has hair like Harpo Marx.

Don't know why i felt the need to share all this. Think i want confirmation that i'm not going bonkers.