Dog on a Chain review in Record Collector - 2/5

For reasons best known to themselves, Record Collector got the world's #1 Morrissey-hating journalist to review the new album. David Quantocks, who I believe was even once sued by Morrissey and forced to write a grovelling apology, gives it 2/5. In all fairness, he does quote an appalling lyric about geese and a niece which I'm hoping he mis-heard or made up. Haven't bought the mag so can't scan and attach.

---

Scan provided by Famous when dead in the comments.

 

[gordyboy9]

What specifically in the review is dishonest?

come on,are you familiar with david quantick and Morrissey over the years.
think its about time you changed that thumbnail,looks like a carrot that's been sitting on a Tesco shelf for far too long,what about a nice big pic of david quantick.

 

[gordyboy9]

As if a blinkered acolyte is going to give you an accurate and truthful response. All they want to do is deflect.

the twitter post from dec 3rd 2017 below says it all,hateful,spiteful man,bit like yourself.
skinny,more faces than the town clock.
skinny,more faces than mount rushmore.
skinnybaws nearly as many faces as fu Manchu.wank.

 

[gordyboy9]

Well I know but I do like to press people on the details from time to time.

you couldnae press a pair of jeans.

 

[Trans]

Is the line about Sam though. If so I kinda find that funny

 

[Deleted member 29417]

Going by the three songs he's put out so far, the review is spot on, if a little generous on the stars. Moz used to write great pop songs (with his collaborators of course, but his vocal lines are so distinctive he needs a lot of credit for more than just providing lyrics). Even recently, STDIB is a great song, popular with live audiences & radio programmers alike. But where has that ear for melody gone?? KW, BDYTTK and LIOIWO are tuneless, boring, formless, no light & shade, no climax, no groove, nothing remotely catchy or pleasing to the ear...if they are the best songs on the album, then it will be his worst by a comfortable margin.

I like the discordant inner turmoil. It's like Little Voice backed by The Tijuana Brass. He's probably one bad night away from clutching his Twinkle records while his house burns down. And who else his age is as unpredictably dramatic as that?

 

[ADHD]

come on,are you familiar with david quantick and Morrissey over the years.
think its about time you changed that thumbnail,looks like a carrot that's been sitting on a Tesco shelf for far too long,what about a nice big pic of david quantick.

Agreed...I've just been reading some archive stuff on moz-solo which dates back to 2008:

(Uncleskinny writes: "He takes the opporunity [sic] to really have a go at Morrissey and his band. Hardly surprising for a man who called Morrissey a "vile scumbag" on national radio."), so the guy Quantick has 'previous' with Morrissey, which someone else here mentioned, & he was never going to write anything pleasant, was he?

2008 must have been a time in skinny's life when he at least then held some form of fan-sympathy & support for Moz.

Used to be a sweet boy, but something went wrong.

 

[Morrissey Isn’t Very Good]

David Quantocks
Supposed Journalist Music Reviewer

David's reviews are brief and very boring. He is very unprofessional and tries to bury the hatchet for the lovers that have scorned him. Once a Morrissey devotee that thought he would get the better of his formal idol in a horrible piece in "The Word" magazine, he was crushed in court by his idol. Now he lives out his day making 2 pence an hour writing crap reviews for magazines. Another mediocre review from one of the worst in the industry. Sail on David sail on my friend.....

f***ing hell, that was unfunny. And you clearly don’t know what “bury the hatchet” means.

 

[Deleted member 29235]

come on,are you familiar with david quantick and Morrissey over the years.
think its about time you changed that thumbnail,looks like a carrot that's been sitting on a Tesco shelf for far too long,what about a nice big pic of david quantick.

I asked you quite a specific question and you've replied with a non-answer. Try again and see if you can actually answer my queston. If you can't (and I'm fairly sure that you can't) why not have another go at exercising that famous wit of yours, or at least the half that you display on here regularly?

 

[Morrissey Isn’t Very Good]

Get an honest fan to write it.

And where would we find one of those?

 

[Deleted member 1074]

For me Knockabout World it would have been a better single, it's a catchy pop song, although my favorite til now is Bobby...

Sorry for my bad english, I'm Korean...

Hey baby. How you doin? Wanna SUNMI and chill?

 

[gordyboy9]

I asked you quite a specific question and you've replied with a non-answer. Try again and see if you can actually answer my queston. If you can't (and I'm fairly sure that you can't) why not have another go at exercising that famous wit of yours, or at least the half that you display on here regularly?

I did when I said you couldnae press a pair of jeans,for any youngsters press is an old term for iron.we could go round in circles all day,im a busy man iv got woman to see.do you actually thnk quandick would ever give Morrissey anything but a bad review,no he wouldn't.

 

[A Man Escaped]

I did when I said you couldnae press a pair of jeans,for any youngsters press is an old term for iron.we could go round in circles all day,im a busy man iv got woman to see.do you actually thnk quandick would ever give Morrissey anything but a bad review,no he wouldn't.

This woman you are planning to see, is she an English school teacher who gives extra lessons on Saturday mornings for "the special children"?

 

[Deleted member 1074]

I did when I said you couldnae press a pair of jeans,for any youngsters press is an old term for iron.we could go round in circles all day,im a busy man iv got woman to see.do you actually thnk quandick would ever give Morrissey anything but a bad review,no he wouldn't.

Gordyboy “seeing woman”:

 

[Benny-the-British-Butcher]

There’s a common theme building with these reviews.

LAZY SHIT LYRICS.

??

 

[gordyboy9]

This woman you are planning to see, is she an English school teacher who gives extra lessons on Saturday mornings for "the special children"?

no shes a page three stunner who will have the pleasure of my company for a while.special children,more like the special ONE.

 

[Deleted member 29235]

Oh no. @Thewlis is downvoting all my comments. How will I cope?

 

[Deleted member 1074]

Oh no. @Thewlis is downvoting all my comments. How will I cope?

View attachment 54739

Endeavor to persevere.

 

[Deleted member 1074]

no shes a page three stunner who will have the pleasure of my company for a while.special children,more like the special ONE.

Shame she won’t be conscious or consenting for any of this.

 

[Anonymous]

Love it when the usual goons turn up and slag off a REVIEW because it doesn't say what they like about something they HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD. But they LOVED the reviews of something they HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD when it concurred with their bias.

The actual three monkeys right there.

Come on, Skinnybob, even you have to admit that the Record Collector review is a pile of crap, written by some dick with a grudge.

 

[Deleted member 29235]

no shes a page three stunner

So basically you are going to be sitting in the chipper with a copy of the Sun?