Question Hoffman Board Song Rankings

beewee

Active Member
I often see sighted the Hoffman song rankings for Morrissey. For the life of me I've never been able to find it via google search or on this website. Can someone post the link or show me where I can find it? Much appreciated :)
 
As already above, have a very long read of this:
Long story short, ranking of songs via polls in said thread.
Regards,
FWD.
 
https://forums.stevehoffman.tv/thre...ong-by-song-discussion-thread.818600/page-365

The final averages for all songs:

1 - Now My Heart is Full - 4.87
2 - Speedway - 4.86
3 - Everyday is Like Sunday - 4.848
4 - Suedehead - 4.786
5 - Jack the Ripper - 4.72
6 - Once I Saw the River Clean - 4.7
7 - You’re Gonna Need Someone on Your Side - 4.64
8 - Bobby, Don't You Think They Know? - 4.556
9 - Lenny's Tune - 4.545
10 - The Last of the Famous International Playboys - 4.543
11 - Life is a Pigsty - 4.533
12 - Glamorous Glue - 4.526
13 = Tomorrow - 4.5
13 = My Hurling Days Are Done - 4.5
15 - The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get - 4.477
16 - Irish Blood, English Heart - 4.476
17 - Jim Jim Falls - 4.471
18 - Some Say I Got Devil - 4.409
19 - Why Don’t You Find Out for Yourself - 4.37
20 = We’ll Let You Know - 4.36
20 = The National Front Disco - 4.36
22 - What Kind of People Live in These Houses? - 4.35
23 - Dear God Please Help Me - 4.342
24 - Hairdresser on Fire - 4.321
25 - Seasick, Yet Still Docked - 4.32
26 - It's Not Your Birthday Anymore - 4.316
27 - Nobody Loves Us - 4.304
28 = November Spawned a Monster - 4.2954
28 = First of the Gang to Die - 4.2954
30 - Staircase at the University - 4.286
31 - I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday - 4.263
32 - Something is Squeezing My Skull - 4.262
33 - Lost - 4.2614
34 - Hold on to Your Friends - 4.2609
35 - Ganglord - 4.25
36 - Home is a Question Mark - 4.202
37 - Piccadilly Palare - 4.2
38 - Sunny - 4.175
39 - Trouble Loves Me - 4.16
40 - Come Back to Camden - 4.15
41 - Morning Starship - 4.143
42 - Alsatian Cousin - 4.135
43 - I Have Forgiven Jesus - 4.13
44 = I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris - 4.125
44 = Maladjusted - 4.125
46 - Late Night, Maudlin Street - 4.12
47 - Southpaw - 4.11
48 - It's Over - 4.107
49 - Disappointed - 4.1
50 - Knockabout World - 4.078
51 - Angel, Angel, Down We Go Together - 4.065
52 - You Have Killed Me - 4.0625
53 - Art-hounds - 4.048
54 - Boxers - 4.043
55 - Sister I’m a Poet - 4.042
56 - I Know Very Well How I Got My Name - 4
57 - Never Again Will I Be a Twin - 3.979
58 - I’ve Changed My Plea to Guilty - 3.976
59 - The Teachers Are Afraid of the Pupils - 3.96
60 - Billy Budd - 3.94
61 - My Love Life - 3.92
62 - Interlude - 3.905
63 - Days of Decision - 3.896
64 = The Secret of Music - 3.893
64 = I Wish You Lonely - 3.893
66 - I Thought You Were Dead - 3.891
67 = Will Never Marry - 3.875
67 = I'm OK By Myself - 3.875
67 = I Am Not a Dog on a Chain - 3.875
67 = Kiss Me a Lot - 3.875
67 = Istanbul - 3.875
72 - The Edges Are No Longer Parallel - 3.842
73 = Israel - 3.833
73 = Alma Matters - 3.833
75 - Shame is the Name - 3.824
76 - Lifeguard Sleeping, Girl Drowning - 3.818
77 = Christian Dior - 3.808
77 = My Dearest Love - 3.808
77 = Lady Willpower - 3.808
80 - Drag the River - 3.794
81 - Suffer the Little Children - 3.792
82 - Scandinavia - 3.786
83 - My Love, I'd Do Anything for You - 3.775
84 - Wedding Bell Blues - 3.769
85 - Spent the Day in Bed - 3.762
86 = Smiler With Knife - 3.75
86 = When Last I Spoke to Carol - 3.75
86 = Love is On Its Way Out - 3.75
89 - Driving Your Girlfriend Home - 3.74
90 - The Boy Racer - 3.7381
91 - Darling, I Hug a Pillow - 3.735
92 - The Youngest Was the Most Loved - 3.7321
93 - All You Need is Me - 3.726
94 - I'm Not Sorry - 3.72
95 - A Swallow on My Neck - 3.7125
96 - No One Can Hold a Candle to You - 3.708
97 = (I’m) The End of the Family Line - 3.7
97 = Spring-Heeled Jim - 3.7
99 - You Say You Don't Love Me - 3.696
100 - Mama Lay Softly on the Riverbed - 3.694
101 - The Never-Played Symphonies - 3.6875
102 - I Am Hated for Loving - 3.68
103 - In the Future When All's Well - 3.679
104 - I Will See You in Far Off Places - 3.676
105 - Sing Your Life - 3.67
106 = I’d Love To - 3.667
106 = We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful - 3.667
108 - Friday Mourning - 3.647
109 - At Last I Am Born - 3.646
110 - You Know I Couldn't Last - 3.63
111 - It Happens Every Time - 3.6
112 - Drive-In Saturday - 3.59
113 - Used to Be a Sweet Boy - 3.5875
114 - The Loop - 3.5869
115 - Ouija Board, Ouija Board - 3.58
116 - Oboe Concerto - 3.575
117 - You Were Good in Your Time - 3.574
118 - Break Up the Family - 3.573
119 - Pregnant for the Last Time - 3.568
120 - Back on the Chain Gang - 3.567
121 = I Bury the Living - 3.566
121 = One of Our Own - 3.566
123 - Do Your Best and Don't Worry - 3.56
124 - Mute Witness - 3.555
125 - Let Me Kiss You - 3.553
126 - Jacky's Only Happy When She's Up on the Stage - 3.545
127 - Yes, I am Blind - 3.543
128 = Julie in the Weeds - 3.542
128 = Don't Interrupt the Sorrow - 3.542
130 = Reader Meet Author - 3.5326
130 = You’re the One for Me, Fatty - 3.5326
132 - In Your Lap - 3.528
133 - Interesting Drug - 3.519
134 - Brow of My Beloved - 3.516
135 - Satan Rejected My Soul - 3.51
136 = He Knows I’d Love to See Him - 3.5
136 = Only a Pawn in Their Game - 3.5
138 - Forgive Someone - 3.484
139 - The Truth About Ruth - 3.483
140 - Little Man, What Now? - 3.48
141 - Lucky Lisp - 3.476
142 = There is a Place in Hell for Me and My Friends - 3.4722
142 = The World is Full of Crashing Bores - 3.4722
144 - I Can Have Both - 3.4625
145 = I'll Never Be Anybody's Hero Now - 3.4615
145 = Lover-to-Be - 3.4615
147 - Don't Make Fun of Daddy's Voice - 3.458
148 - One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell - 3.456
149 - Kick the Bride Down the Aisle - 3.447
150 - If You Don't Like Me, Don't Look at Me - 3.446
151 - The Father Who Must Be Killed - 3.442
152 - A Song From Under the Floorboards - 3.4375
153 - Rose Garden - 3.433
154 - Skin Storm - 3.42
155 - Lifeguard on Duty - 3.418
156 - Munich Air Disaster 1958 - 3.406
157 = I'm Not a Man - 3.4
157 = I Don’t Mind If You Forget Me - 3.4
159 - The Lazy Sunbathers - 3.381
160 - When You Close Your Eyes - 3.364
161 - World Peace is None of Your Business - 3.357
162 - Teenage Dad on His Estate - 3.355
163 - Black Cloud - 3.329
164 - To Me You Are a Work of Art - 3.327
165 - Roy's Keen - 3.325
166 - Let the Right One Slip In - 3.321
167 - America is Not the World - 3.318
168 = Mountjoy - 3.3095
168 = Such a Little Thing Makes Such a Big Difference - 3.3095
170 - Honey You Know Where to Find Me - 3.3088
171 - Action is My Middle Name - 3.306
172 - It's Hard to Walk Tall When You're Small (Whyte) - 3.294
173 - Whatever Happens, I Love You - 3.29
174 - I Knew I Was Next - 3.286
175 - You Should Have Been Nice to Me - 3.2778
176 - Certain People I Know - 3.2775
177 - Ammunition - 3.275
178 - The Operation - 3.26
179 = Because of My Poor Education - 3.25
179 = I'm Playing Easy to Get - 3.25
179 = Good Looking Man About Town - 3.25
179 = You'll Be Gone - 3.25
179 = By the Time I Get to Wherever I'm Going - 3.25
184 - That's How People Grow Up - 3.237
185 - I Like You - 3.22
186 - Redondo Beach - 3.217
187 - That’s Entertainment - 3.2125
188 - Loneliness Remembers What Happiness Forgets - 3.212
189 - Human Being - 3.2
190 - My Life is a Succession of People Saying Goodbye - 3.17
191 - The Ordinary Boys - 3.167
192 = To Give (The Reason I Live) - 3.161
192 = Our Frank - 3.161
194 - On the Streets I Ran - 3.154
195 - Happy Lovers at Last United - 3.15
196 - Michaels Bones - 3.146
197 - Best Friend on the Payroll - 3.13
198 - Earth is the Loneliest Planet - 3.125
199 - Cosmic Dancer - 3.12
200 = The Public Image - 3.115
200 = I Just Want to See the Boy Happy - 3.115
200 = Blue Dreamers Eyes - 3.115
203 - He Cried - 3.112
204 = Mexico - 3.107
204 = Judy Is a Punk - 3.107
206 - Wide to Receive - 3.1
207 - Kit - 3.097
208 - Have-a-Go Merchant - 3.095
209 - I Am Two People - 3.094
210 = Dial-a-Cliché - 3.0625
210 = People Are the Same Everywhere - 3.0625
212 - The Girl from Tel-Aviv Who Wouldn't Kneel - 3.053
213 - Now I Am a Was - 3.03
214 - Tony the Pony - 3.025
215 - King Leer - 3.02
216 - Heir Apparent - 3.0133
217 - Striptease With a Difference - 3.0132
218 - At Amber - 3
219 - Bengali in Platforms - 2.98
220 - This Song Doesn't End When It's Over - 2.96
221 - Margaret on the Guillotine - 2.958
222 - When You Open Your Legs - 2.934
223 - Dagenham Dave - 2.932
224 - Sorry Doesn't Help - 2.931
225 - It's Hard to Walk Tall When You're Small (Cobrin) - 2.926
226 - All the Lazy Dykes - 2.912
227 - Children in Pieces - 2.911
228 - Pashernate Love - 2.908
229 - Neal Cassidy Drops Dead - 2.9
230 - All the Young People Must Fall in Love - 2.889
231 - Who Will Protect Us from the Police? - 2.882
232 - Girl Least Likely To - 2.88
233 - Black-Eyed Susan - 2.875
234 - How Can Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel? - 2.868
235 - You’ve Had Her - 2.86
236 - This is Not Your Country - 2.84
237 = The Bullfighter Dies - 2.833
237 = Ambitious Outsiders - 2.833
237 = Sweetie-Pie - 2.833
240 - Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way? - 2.827
241 - Satellite of Love - 2.817
242 - Moonriver - 2.76
243 - I Didn't Know What to Do - 2.75
244 - You Must Please Remember - 2.74
245 - East West - 2.73
246 - Fantastic Bird - 2.708
247 - There Speaks a True Friend - 2.625
248 - The Kid's a Looker - 2.588
249 - Papa Jack - 2.55
250 - Please Help the Cause Against Loneliness - 2.548
251 - Oh Well, I’ll Never Learn - 2.53
252 - The Slum Mums - 2.52
253 - Journalists Who Lie - 2.5
254 - Asian Rut - 2.45
255 - Trash - 2.33
256 - Found, Found, Found - 2.31
257 - Noise is the Best Revenge - 2.23
258 - Safe Warm, Lancashire Home - 2.12
259 - Oh Phoney - 2.1
260 - Born to Hang - 2
261 - Sorrow Will Come in the End - 1.99
262 - The Harsh Truth of the Camera Eye - 1.97
263 - Get Off the Stage - 1.95
264 - Treat Me Like a Human Being - 1.71
 
Some of my favorites at the bottom of that totem pole. And Speedway #2 ?! Lol.

Hoffman list = 💩💩💩
 
Absolutely perverse list. Burn it.
 
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