SPOILER ahead
The sentence she quotes and cites as being "appalling" is problematic for more than just its needless alliteration: 'Our four favoured athletes have the task of relaying in relay and can therefore knock aside bothersome border boundaries as they guard each other's bodies as if all amounted to just the one.'
It's overwritten to the point where it is rendered abstruse, the kind of garbled purple prose that rarely serves the story being told, because the idea conveyed is lost in the swirling maelstrom of excess words. The excerpt of dialogue shared by Penguin last week was concise, poignant, and flowed with ease, unlike the sentence above. Hopefully most of the text is closer to the former.
I agree to an extent that this type of writing should have been expected considering what we got with Autobiography, but I still find it baffling that someone who could understand the potency of economic writing so well as a lyricist would write prose in this way. Of course, I reserve full judgement until after I have the book in my hands and have read it cover to cover.