Need a wee bit of advice

[Half_a_Person]

There's this guy I talk to on MySpace and the phone and he's really nice and we have a few things in common. The thing is that I have feelings for him. But, here are couple problems: He used to be in a gang and he's been engaged to a girl for almost a year.

On MySpace, he sent me a few messages which starts with "Hey, beautiful" and described my pics of me as "flawless beauty."

I got this feeling that he may have some sort of a crush on me, but I'm kinda scared to tell him how I feel for him. He has a very jealous fiance who picked up on me and she was suspecting that he may be cheating on her with me. I don't know her that well. All I know is that she helped him get through the troubles of his past and made him sober *he was a drug dealer*.

I'd like to know, do you think we have feelings for each other than he does for that other chick?

 

[the beast]

There's this guy I talk to on MySpace and the phone and he's really nice and we have a few things in common. The thing is that I have feelings for him. But, here are couple problems: He used to be in a gang and he's been engaged to a girl for almost a year.

On MySpace, he sent me a few messages which starts with "Hey, beautiful" and described my pics of me as "flawless beauty."

I got this feeling that he may have some sort of a crush on me, but I'm kinda scared to tell him how I feel for him. He has a very jealous fiance who picked up on me and she was suspecting that he may be cheating on her with me. I don't know her that well. All I know is that she helped him get through the troubles of his past and made him sober *he was a drug dealer*.

I'd like to know, do you think we have feelings for each other than he does for that other chick?

just because people have a PAST doesn't mean they can't have a FUTURE

 

[Jose]

Never mind his past, let's talk about the present:

-have you two ever actually met? Can't tell if you did, from what you wrote.
-if not, it's very easy to fall for someone's sweet words written online. The person could be disappointing in real life.
-are you looking for a long term relationship or just a one night stand or something along those lines?
-if you're looking for something long term, do you really want to get involved with someone who has no problem with cheating? If they do it with you, they will do it to you.

This has disaster written all over it. And not because of his past, but because of the present. Try listening to your head not to your heart, what does your head say?

Good luck deciding what to do. Be safe and careful!

 

[Half_a_Person]

Never mind his past, let's talk about the present:

-have you two ever actually met? Can't tell if you did, from what you wrote.
-if not, it's very easy to fall for someone's sweet words written online. The person could be disappointing in real life.
-are you looking for a long term relationship or just a one night stand or something along those lines?
-if you're looking for something long term, do you really want to get involved with someone who has no problem with cheating? If they do it with you, they will do it to you.

This has disaster written all over it. And not because of his past, but because of the present. Try listening to your head not to your heart, what does your head say?

Good luck deciding what to do. Be safe and careful!

We haven't actually met. He lives about 15-20 minutes away from me. I've seen pics of him and he doesn't seem like a dissapointment.

 

[Jose]

We haven't actually met. He lives about 15-20 minutes away from me. I've seen pics of him and he doesn't seem like a dissapointment.

In the long run, it's what's on the inside that matters, not what's on the outside.

 

[Half_a_Person]

Should I tell him that I have feelings for him?

 

[Jose]

Should I tell him that I have feelings for him?

I find it hard to believe that one can have feelings for someone they've never met in person.
But... if you really think you have feelings for this person then go ahead and tell him. If he says he doesn't feel the same way as you, then you can move on. If he says he feels the same about you, please remember he does have a fiancé and that brings me back to: if he does it with you, he will do it to you.

 

[Half_a_Person]

I find it hard to believe that one can have feelings for someone they've never met in person.
But... if you really think you have feelings for this person then go ahead and tell him. If he says he doesn't feel the same way as you, then you can move on. If he says he feels the same about you, please remember he does have a fiancé and that brings me back to: if he does it with you, he will do it to you.

I'm a little hesitant, but thanks anyway.

 

[sweet and tender hooligan]

We haven't actually met. He lives about 15-20 minutes away from me. I've seen pics of him and he doesn't seem like a dissapointment.

It's easy to flirt with a person you don't know on a screen. Although I said meet him (i've delated now) I didn't see he was engaged. I would say don't get envolved with someone in a relationship already, you will get hurt no matter the outcome, i speak from experience sadly.

 

[Theo]

There's this guy I talk to on MySpace and the phone and he's really nice and we have a few things in common. The thing is that I have feelings for him. But, here are couple problems: He used to be in a gang and he's been engaged to a girl for almost a year.

On MySpace, he sent me a few messages which starts with "Hey, beautiful" and described my pics of me as "flawless beauty."

I got this feeling that he may have some sort of a crush on me, but I'm kinda scared to tell him how I feel for him. He has a very jealous fiance who picked up on me and she was suspecting that he may be cheating on her with me. I don't know her that well. All I know is that she helped him get through the troubles of his past and made him sober *he was a drug dealer*.

I'd like to know, do you think we have feelings for each other than he does for that other chick?

It would be against my morality to go after someone who is engaged to be married. They apparently have something very meaningful together - much deeper than a crush on MySpace - and many would consider it wrong to elbow your way between them when he has a moment of weakness. If you don't have similar morals, you should also consider that he may just be looking for someone to help him get out of his engagement and he'll probably drop you pretty quick. Also, he may just be getting his last flings in before he's married.

Furthermore, before you involve yourself with a former drug addict/drug trafficker, you ought to look up his criminal record (lots of county courts have searchable dockets online). You'd better know what you're getting into so he doesn't drag you down or turn you out. Also, have him tested for every STD under the sun (drug dealers tend to sleep with a lot of street hookers and other customers).

 

[EPbabe]

There's this guy I talk to on MySpace and the phone and he's really nice and we have a few things in common. The thing is that I have feelings for him. But, here are couple problems: He used to be in a gang and he's been engaged to a girl for almost a year.

On MySpace, he sent me a few messages which starts with "Hey, beautiful" and described my pics of me as "flawless beauty."

I got this feeling that he may have some sort of a crush on me, but I'm kinda scared to tell him how I feel for him. He has a very jealous fiance who picked up on me and she was suspecting that he may be cheating on her with me. I don't know her that well. All I know is that she helped him get through the troubles of his past and made him sober *he was a drug dealer*.

I'd like to know, do you think we have feelings for each other than he does for that other chick?

I'm twice as old as you and I also have some experience with myspace guys... so here's what I say, take it or leave it.

-If I had believed everything guys said to me either here or on myspace.... (Some bitter experiences make me say that.)
-If someone comments on your pics and says things like "flawless beauty" do as I do: thank them.
-Go for friendships, not relationships
-I remember that I had said this on another thread and it is still true: if a guy really wants a girl, he'd do everything to have her. If he has a fiancée and hasn't broken up with her, it's because he doesn't want to. Sorry.
-You put it right: you have a crush on each other, no more.
-He doesn't seem the best company for you. I mean, do you really want to get into trouble? Drug-dealer? In a gang???? If I were you, I'd just leave and never look back.

 

[EPbabe]

should i tell him that i have feelings for him?

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

[oye terence]

a few things...

1. no one is ever exactly how they are online in person, to some degree anyways.so whatever the feelings you have are just for his online persona,however that's not that big a deal,i suppose.just be prepared.

2. people who are in relationships, not even engaged like he is, generally will keep repeating this, so could you really trust a dude who was in engaged ? who is to say he would not do that to you? some people have what i call "the grass is always greener on the side" syndrome, they go from one relationship to another as they are never happy.so keep that in the back of your mind

3. people make mistakes,especially when young, so i would not automatically judge him on that, "every saint has a past and sinner has a future"

 

[EPbabe]

a few things...

1. no one is ever exactly how they are online in person, to some degree anyways.so whatever the feelings you have are just for his online persona,however that's not that big a deal,i suppose.just be prepared.

2. people who are in relationships, not even engaged like he is, generally will keep repeating this, so could you really trust a dude who was in engaged ? who is to say he would not do that to you? some people have what i call "the grass is always greener on the side" syndrome, they go from one relationship to another as they are never happy.so keep that in the back of your mind

3. people make mistakes,especially when young, so i would not automatically judge him on that, "every saint has a past and sinner has a future"

I agree with you on 1 and 2, but I'm not sure about no. 3. He really has to be a special person so that I would put up with such past.

 

[oye terence]

I agree with you on 1 and 2, but I'm not sure about no. 3. He really has to be a special person so that I would put up with such past.

well yes, i would never date a former rapist, or someone out on parole for murder, maybe i'm lax on the drug bits as i think most drugs should be legal.

 

[EPbabe]

well yes, i would never date a former rapist, or someone out on parole for murder, maybe i'm lax on the drug bits as i think most drugs should be legal.

That's a totally different story, so let's not go there. All I'm saying is that Half a Person is a minor, and as such, vulnerable. And if the guy has a past, he has people from his past and even though he might have changed, those other people probably didn't.

Edit: Sorry, Half a Person isn't a minor. I don't know why I thought that.

 

[Wozzer]

In the long run, it's what's on the inside that matters, not what's on the outside.

But the outside contradicts what inside.

 

[EPbabe]

But the outside contradicts what inside.

Always?

 

[oye terence]

That's a totally different story, so let's not go there. All I'm saying is that Half a Person is a minor, and as such, vulnerable. And if the guy has a past, he has people from his past and even though he might have changed, those other people probably didn't.

ooh of course, i was think maybe more in general.and 3 could actually be part of what i said in one, he may have only shared half truths, or left out things.i think i am saying that i would not automatically say no to a person with a record.hell,i was once arrested.

 

[EPbabe]

ooh of course, i was think maybe more in general.and 3 could actually be part of what i said in one, he may have only shared half truths, or left out things.i think i am saying that i would not automatically say no to a person with a record.hell,i was once arrested.

It must be me then, I'm not the trouble-maker type, and I don't attract such people.