it's sad how badly you want for that to be true.
you remind me of this girl at work who is forever going on about how gorgeous she is in such an awkward way. the girl isnt ugly but she's incredibly average. she's no one that anyone would even consider in terms of being gorgeous. she's the one who told me that she'd be embarrassed coming to work with a sunburn like mine. when i said to her that that was a stupid thing to say she said "my looks are all i have". so i said "how bleak for you then". and she said "i know". and so i, sick of her shit talk and prompted by the memories of conversations ive had with others who similarly cant believe the delusional way she goes on, said "you know, people who are really actually beautiful have probably been told that so much in their lives that they dont need to go around telling others. people will tell them. also, youd think by the time they're our age, they'd be over it and wouldnt make such a fuss about it anymore". and she was like "no one's ever told me im beautiful", and i was shocked by that, because, for one thing, shouldnt that be her clue what people actually think about her?, and for another thing, i assumed even ugly people were told they were beautiful at least a couple times in their lives. so i said to her "well i guess that's the difference why you'd be embarrassed and im not".