I dunno, why are you even here? Does anyone appreciate these light hearted stabs at humour? Maybe these imaginary scenarios you write go over really well within your circle of friends, but here they bomb badly. I see 95% of the time they're ignored, yet curiously that doesn't seem to deter you. So I'm assuming you're getting immense pleasure concocting these surrealist missives. In which case, carry on, you strange creature.