Telling My Daughter the Truth about Her New 'Friend,' The Salesclerk!

[The Seeker of Good Songs]

"I had to tell my daughter the truth. At the risk of hurting my baby's feelings, I had to tell her that the cool teenager in the 'tween-age clothing store was not really a friend. The 16-year-old salesclerk --so cute, so charming -- was more interested in my 10-year-old daughter's wallet.
I hope I did the right thing.
'Tween Queens
Here's the scenario: To kill time before a movie, my daughter and I wandered into a store that targets girls ages 8-12. It's a great concept. Driven by Miley Cyrus -- Hannah Montana -- and other young stars, the 'tween market for merchandise is hot.
Preteen girls have allowances and a desire for cute clothes and trinkets. As a frugal mom, I should have re-directed our window-shopping expedition. But my daughter wanted to check out the bright store, which featured videos, magazines and other gear from various Nick Jr. and Disney stars.
Immediately, a salesgirl in a ponytail and jeans, swooped down on us. Before I could say "bling-bling," the cute salesclerk had picked out several outfits for my daughter, complete with a cute matching cap.
Long Lines, Short Time Frame
With our movie about to start, we did not have time for the dressing room or the lengthy cashier line. My daughter promised to return. After the movie, my daughter gushed about the really nice salesclerk as we ran back to the store. (What was I thinking? Clearly, I had 'tween fever!)
"She was so nice," my daughter said. "She spent so much time with me. I just want to go by and say 'hi' to her. I promised her that I would come back after the movie."
Shopping Reality Trip
At this point, I halted in the middle of the crowded mall.
"She's not really your friend," I blurted out. "She just wants you to buy all that stuff that she picked out for you."
"You mean she doesn't really like me?" My daughter is visibly distressed.
I soften up and carefully select my words.
"Sure, she likes you. But she also likes your business. She wants you to buy those outfits. She makes more money when you spend more money," I said.
Reconsidering the Merchandise
When we returned to the store, my daughter made a big effort to track down and wave to the friendly salesgirl, who at this point was best-buds with another little girl and a huge stack of trendy clothing.
My daughter studied the cute plaid hat. It was $15. I mentioned that the hat might be cheaper --marked down -- in a few months. But I still let her decide if she wanted to spend her hard-earned money, (she works as a mother's helper), on the little cotton cap. My daughter returned the hat to the display. She'd rather save her money and besides the line was still so long.
What would you have done? Would you have told her the truth about the salesclerk? Should I have continued to let her believe that the cool clerk was a friend?"


from: http://www.wisebread.com/telling-my-daughter-the-truth-about-her-new-friend-the-salesclerk

 

[EPbabe]

Seeker, did you write this?

 

[The Seeker of Good Songs]

Seeker, did you write this?

no. from the link. some blog or something I came across.
I just found it interesting. Wondered what others, who are parents, or have a relationship with young ones, thought.
Kids are very impressionable, they need a slap of reality.

 

[vivabob]

its very american

 

[EPbabe]

its very american

It's more like making a huge fuss out of nothing.

 

[The Seeker of Good Songs]

its very american

which, pushy sales clerks, or setting your kids straight?

 

[I am a Ghost]

Jesus H.Christ....

The kid is told that (a) the salesgirl is only trying to make money, (b) has no interest in her personally and (c) is taken out of the store.

End of.

 

[vivabob]

which, pushy sales clerks, or setting your kids straight?

the clerks part ... and the language , terminology

 

[bored]

Hired guns.. aka people in any sort of retail or service industry are often hired for their looks or their friendly personality. I agree with what the mother did. She gave the daughter a practical lesson and explained why the sales person was being nice. The daughter was then given a choice to decide what she wanted to do.

Jesus H.Christ....

The kid is told that (a) the salesgirl is only trying to make money, (b) has no interest in her personally and (c) is taken out of the store.

End of.

This is a pretty big exaggeration. The girl was told the the salesgirl did like her but also likes her business. The girl was not taken out of the store. She was allowed to back and shop however she felt was right.

 

[I am a Ghost]

Hired guns.. aka people in any sort of retail or service industry are often hired for their looks or their friendly personality. I agree with what the mother did. She gave the daughter a practical lesson and explained why the sales person was being nice. The daughter was then given a choice to decide what she wanted to do.



This is a pretty big exaggeration. The girl was told the the salesgirl did like her but also likes her business. The girl was not taken out of the store. She was allowed to back and shop however she felt was right.

Hello Bored,

I was actually responding to the question posed at the end of the quoted article, not summing up what the mother did. I dashed off my response quickly and perhaps I phrased it badly...

I'm "Ghosty" now? Excellent.

 

[Jukebox Jury]

In 1988, I was a working at a youth centre in Sale and we took a group of kids to Hamburg on an exchange trip (in other words a staff piss up).
The German leader (to my horror) took our group to the Reeperbahn (Red Light District) on a wet and quiet Sunday evening.
There is one street, you have to pass through a narrow gap in a wall to enter the street, with clear signs saying 'No Under 18's, No Females' (unless you are behind a window, of course).

So we are walking down this street with kids (lads and girls, mostly aged 15 - 18) and this one women taps on the window, finger beckoning this lad Jason over to her...... he goes towards her..... I'm like ''Jason, back over here...''
He says ''That women well fancies me, she wants me to go over to her''. his ego clearly boosted by the fact that she wanted him.
I took him to one side and said ''Jason, she fancies everyone and anyone..... as long as you can pay she will love you for 15 minutes.....''

I have always felt guilty about raining on his parade

Jukebox Jury

 

[The Seeker of Good Songs]

I took him to one side and said ''Jason, she fancies everyone and anyone..... as long as you can pay she will love you for 15 minutes.....''

15 minutes...strong lad

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

its very american

It's more like making a huge fuss out of nothing.

No, and no.

You try raising kids in this society. We're drowning in consumer crap. There is no aspect of a child's life that is protected from advertisement. You can't buy diapers without cartoon characters emblazoned on the waistband. The corporations are trying to build up brand loyalty from birth.

These aren't hard lessons to teach a child. Advertising is mostly lies. Most products are no different from other, similar products. Corporations are happy when you buy, buy, buy, but if you save your money you can choose to buy the things that really mean the most to you, and will last.

They're really important lessons to teach, too. If you don't, you'll have kids with consumer hangovers from an early age. They'll get caught up in the spend, spend, spend mentality and never find real happiness. Go back and refer to the thread on which Seeker posted the comic comparing Orwell and Huxley's visions of our potential future to see. I don't want that to happen to my children. I want them to learn to think for themselves and be able to see through corporate ploys.

Thanks for posting this, Seeker. Just another example of the kind of teaching we have to do constantly to try to raise responsible, thinking adults.

 

[The Seeker of Good Songs]

...Thanks for posting this, Seeker. Just another example of the kind of teaching we have to do constantly to try to raise responsible, thinking adults.

Even in a school or neighborhood setting, children think someone is their friend because they are "nice" to them. Children need to taught what a friend is.
How many have experienced, in a school setting as a child, that when you had some extra candy or snack, that you had a lot of friends, but not the next day?

 

[HandHoldingWinsRaces!]

Reminds me of this...

 

[EPbabe]

No, and no.

You try raising kids in this society. We're drowning in consumer crap. There is no aspect of a child's life that is protected from advertisement. You can't buy diapers without cartoon characters emblazoned on the waistband. The corporations are trying to build up brand loyalty from birth.

These aren't hard lessons to teach a child. Advertising is mostly lies. Most products are no different from other, similar products. Corporations are happy when you buy, buy, buy, but if you save your money you can choose to buy the things that really mean the most to you, and will last.

They're really important lessons to teach, too. If you don't, you'll have kids with consumer hangovers from an early age. They'll get caught up in the spend, spend, spend mentality and never find real happiness. Go back and refer to the thread on which Seeker posted the comic comparing Orwell and Huxley's visions of our potential future to see. I don't want that to happen to my children. I want them to learn to think for themselves and be able to see through corporate ploys.

Thanks for posting this, Seeker. Just another example of the kind of teaching we have to do constantly to try to raise responsible, thinking adults.

Don't get me wrong, I agree with the message of the story: kids do need a slap of reality. It's the style I have problems with: unnecessarily lengthy and totally overdramatic. "I had to tell my daughter the truth." If a story starts with a sentence like that, you expect it to continue as "she was adopted" etc. Not a dumb story about a sales clerk. Looks like the parent him/herself needs a slap of reality too.

 

[j funk]

Even at 10 I understood people were there to do their jobs.

Conversely everyone has probably felt more obliged to spend in a shop where the staff have been helpful.

That's more a story about an over friendly sales assistant, a controlling mother, and a naive kid, than commercialism and kids being brainwashed.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

Don't get me wrong, I agree with the message of the story: kids do need a slap of reality. It's the style I have problems with: unnecessarily lengthy and totally overdramatic. "I had to tell my daughter the truth." If a story starts with a sentence like that, you expect it to continue as "she was adopted" etc. Not a dumb story about a sales clerk. Looks like the parent him/herself needs a slap of reality too.

'Twas a blog post. That's the style. It's not great journalism, it's a cute little op-ed piece.

Even at 10 I understood people were there to do their jobs.

Conversely everyone has probably felt more obliged to spend in a shop where the staff have been helpful.

That's more a story about an over friendly sales assistant, a controlling mother, and a naive kid, than commercialism and kids being brainwashed.

Controlling mother? Would you have preferred if she had cheerfully handed over her Amex to allow her daughter to be dressed up like a prosti-tot, at the mercy of whatever shit Disney is ramming down kids' throats at the moment? (And mind, next week it'll be a different star-lette.)

Mom did her job. Yes, the salesclerk was just doing hers. There are plently of malleable people to sell to, I'm just encouraged that there are other parents out there who are sane and are trying to fight against commercialism and raise thoughtful children. Every child will soon be a voting, buying adult. We need more common sense and less conformism. The story is absolutely about commercialism and kids being brainwashed.

You may not have spent much time around young kids. I have. I've seen six-year old girls in stores, cocking their hips in front of the mirror in stores, dressed in something really revealing, asking their moms, "Do I look sexy?" I've seen reasonable, intelligent moms spending insane money to take their daughters to see Demi Lovato (who? yes, exactly) or Hannah Montana or American Idols Live. the problem isn't just that corporations are backing these "artists," it's that the "artists" aren't artists, they're merely trained performers. And, they're trained to sell not just downloads and concert tickets, but clothes, toys, lunchboxes, backpacks, snack foods, etc. etc. etc. That's the whole purpose. That is Disney's intent from the beginning. These kids (for they are kids, too) are being brought up as commodities. Human commodities. It's sickening.

The point is that kids are being trained to derive their self-esteem and their personal identity from products that they buy. Not from their own achievements and talents, but from those they rent from Disney. This is criminal, and it's going to destroy our society.

Any fight against this is a fight for truth.

 

[MunchyBrain]

'Twas a blog post. That's the style. It's not great journalism, it's a cute little op-ed piece.



Controlling mother? Would you have preferred if she had cheerfully handed over her Amex to allow her daughter to be dressed up like a prosti-tot, at the mercy of whatever shit Disney is ramming down kids' throats at the moment? (And mind, next week it'll be a different star-lette.)

Mom did her job. Yes, the salesclerk was just doing hers. There are plently of malleable people to sell to, I'm just encouraged that there are other parents out there who are sane and are trying to fight against commercialism and raise thoughtful children. Every child will soon be a voting, buying adult. We need more common sense and less conformism. The story is absolutely about commercialism and kids being brainwashed.

You may not have spent much time around young kids. I have. I've seen six-year old girls in stores, cocking their hips in front of the mirror in stores, dressed in something really revealing, asking their moms, "Do I look sexy?" I've seen reasonable, intelligent moms spending insane money to take their daughters to see Demi Lovato (who? yes, exactly) or Hannah Montana or American Idols Live. the problem isn't just that corporations are backing these "artists," it's that the "artists" aren't artists, they're merely trained performers. And, they're trained to sell not just downloads and concert tickets, but clothes, toys, lunchboxes, backpacks, snack foods, etc. etc. etc. That's the whole purpose. That is Disney's intent from the beginning. These kids (for they are kids, too) are being brought up as commodities. Human commodities. It's sickening.

The point is that kids are being trained to derive their self-esteem and their personal identity from products that they buy. Not from their own achievements and talents, but from those they rent from Disney. This is criminal, and it's going to destroy our society.

Any fight against this is a fight for truth.

I'd like to express my agreement but I'm worried no-one else will take what you said seriously if I do. Sigh.

 

[dunya]

I'd like to express my agreement but I'm worried no-one else will take what you said seriously if I do. Sigh.

I agree with you both.

I see parents trying to steer their children away from Disney trash but it's got great marketing power.

I also see parents/grandparents asking for games (Monopoly, chess, ludo, draughts, snakes and ladders) they can play with the lit'luns, but almost all retail buyers go for the plastic trash they see at the February Toy Fairs and are too scared to miss the sales on, as they know all the ads on TV around Christmas will be for those toys.

I want to open a proper toy shop!