Talk time

Talk time

Years ago, when we found our days getting very full, lots of distractions, work, school, badminton, soccer, wrestling, homework yard work, etc. I'm sure it's not new, but my wife offered the idea of talk time with the kids. We found just living sometimes we could not have a separate convo with the kids to really see what was just popping into their heads and what was going on in their life.

At bedtime for ten minutes we will go to bed with each kid, my wife with one, me with one, ten minutes then we swap. Lights off, no distractions. The talking topics that came from my kids were surprising and not near the things we talked about during the day. They were much more personal. Especially as my kids get older, and things become more sensitive in their lives, I find they trust that 10 minutes more. They have learned they can tell us anything and know we won't judge them. I remember one in which my son asked me what the middle finger and the f word meant. I did my best to explain its a bad word. I also stayed away from the parenting kiss of death statement "don't ever say that word" because I know that's impossible, all the kids are learning and saying this stuff at school. I cautioned him, that although I don't want him to, I realized it is being said and that if an adult hears him say it, he will get in trouble and he may suffer some consequences. I told him to be careful. A lot of my 10 minute conversations with them have been like this. You are hearing the real part of their life from there eyes. Me as a parent, trying to walk with them, guiding them, giving them caution without crushing them with demands, having gratitude that they don't keep it inside and have the trust to share. I know the conversation is different with each parent and each kid. My wife and I don't discuss what is shared. Hopefully My wife and I are laying a good foundation for our future adult relationship with our children

We still do it to this day, except they are bigger so I just lay on the floor next to their bed.


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