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Worldwide AP News
filed: by Dolph Lundgren
1-28-00
While many are celebrating the athletic achievements of the games in Sydney or in front of the television, one particular fan will be celebrating behind the bars of a cell for at least a week.
Apparently Boz Boorer, guitarist for rock artist Morrissey, on holiday with his family decided to take a detour and attend some of th events. Unfortunately, the infamous Boorer also took pitstops to visit many of the watering holes located all along the dome.
The first incident occured during the opening events when Boorer urinated in the eternal torch to prove to his drunken entourage that he could extinguish the flame. Boorer was stopped by an IOC official and escorted to a detox room in the olympic villiage.
"We have no idea why he did this and it is a shame, this is not the Olympic spirit is it?" IOC interim president Prince Snot said. "I can honestly say that he is banned from ever attending the games."
As the days went by Boorer caused a commotion during the gymnastics set when he screamed at Russain's Slatvina Khorkina and Inca DeMayo to get "jiggy with it." NBC found fit to edit the footage as Boorer began moonwalking all over the sidelines screaming "YOU CAN DO IT!! YOU CAN DOOOOOOOO IT!!!" Mocking th USA gymnastics coach Ivan Koloffski.
"He was screaming 'Oh short sweet Russian bitches be my game and they can do it' all over the events," Angry Chow, USA gymnast said. "Then after he stumbled off the vault he pulled down his pants and did his business all over the mat!"
His business Chow refers to is his defacating. Boorer was quickly rushed out and escorted to his hotel.
The final straw for officials came on the night of the swimming finals when Inga Dee Breign beat Amy Van Dyken. Boorer, inebriated with martini in hand dove into the pool and smiled when his stools floated up.
"It was disgusting," Fargo Newell, swimming referee said. "He smiled and started making farting sounds."
Boorer ran out and started doing the macarena before the stunned crowd of world atheletes until officers wrestked him down. But not before he kicked Hoisin JaMoses, South Africa swimmer in the groin.
"That was for Martin Luther King bitch!, South Africa is going down down down, MLK #1!" Boorer responded when asked why he kicked JaMoses. "Did you see tht segregation freak fall to his knees when i kicked him in the ghoulies? Ho ho ...Oh MAcarena! do do dod od do"
Boorer further denied any of the alleged crimes he was accused of.
"These Aussies don't know nothin' man, cept eating shrimp on the barbies and having a G'day! IT'S A G'DAY NOW ISN'T IT BITCH??????? What do you expect from a country that runs its people over with tanks? TANKS!"
Morrissey could not be reached for comment. On an unrelated note, Marr was seen gobbling Reese's Pieces under a white blanket and trying to heal the injured atheletes with his finger.
filed: by Dolph Lundgren
1-28-00
While many are celebrating the athletic achievements of the games in Sydney or in front of the television, one particular fan will be celebrating behind the bars of a cell for at least a week.
Apparently Boz Boorer, guitarist for rock artist Morrissey, on holiday with his family decided to take a detour and attend some of th events. Unfortunately, the infamous Boorer also took pitstops to visit many of the watering holes located all along the dome.
The first incident occured during the opening events when Boorer urinated in the eternal torch to prove to his drunken entourage that he could extinguish the flame. Boorer was stopped by an IOC official and escorted to a detox room in the olympic villiage.
"We have no idea why he did this and it is a shame, this is not the Olympic spirit is it?" IOC interim president Prince Snot said. "I can honestly say that he is banned from ever attending the games."
As the days went by Boorer caused a commotion during the gymnastics set when he screamed at Russain's Slatvina Khorkina and Inca DeMayo to get "jiggy with it." NBC found fit to edit the footage as Boorer began moonwalking all over the sidelines screaming "YOU CAN DO IT!! YOU CAN DOOOOOOOO IT!!!" Mocking th USA gymnastics coach Ivan Koloffski.
"He was screaming 'Oh short sweet Russian bitches be my game and they can do it' all over the events," Angry Chow, USA gymnast said. "Then after he stumbled off the vault he pulled down his pants and did his business all over the mat!"
His business Chow refers to is his defacating. Boorer was quickly rushed out and escorted to his hotel.
The final straw for officials came on the night of the swimming finals when Inga Dee Breign beat Amy Van Dyken. Boorer, inebriated with martini in hand dove into the pool and smiled when his stools floated up.
"It was disgusting," Fargo Newell, swimming referee said. "He smiled and started making farting sounds."
Boorer ran out and started doing the macarena before the stunned crowd of world atheletes until officers wrestked him down. But not before he kicked Hoisin JaMoses, South Africa swimmer in the groin.
"That was for Martin Luther King bitch!, South Africa is going down down down, MLK #1!" Boorer responded when asked why he kicked JaMoses. "Did you see tht segregation freak fall to his knees when i kicked him in the ghoulies? Ho ho ...Oh MAcarena! do do dod od do"
Boorer further denied any of the alleged crimes he was accused of.
"These Aussies don't know nothin' man, cept eating shrimp on the barbies and having a G'day! IT'S A G'DAY NOW ISN'T IT BITCH??????? What do you expect from a country that runs its people over with tanks? TANKS!"
Morrissey could not be reached for comment. On an unrelated note, Marr was seen gobbling Reese's Pieces under a white blanket and trying to heal the injured atheletes with his finger.
