Stop me* if you've heard these ones before

B

Bluenose

Guest
* actually don't stop me, just click off!

20 things you can only say at Christmas...

1. I prefer breasts to legs.

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!

4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!

5. I've never seen a better spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you put it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.

18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!

19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning.

20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!
 
FFS Bluebles!! Ruffian will live of those for months. Long after the last of the turkey sandwiches has been scoffed.
 
> FFS Bluebles!! Ruffian will live of those for months. Long after the last
> of the turkey sandwiches has been scoffed.

Hahaha.. I've just printed of a copy.. patted down my breast pocket and now marching about like a dog with two c0cks with this verbal ammo!

Turkey sandwiches turn into turkey curry's by the fourth day of Christmas!

Ruffian
 
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