VERY SERIOUS HONESTLY

[Elvis impersonator not very good at it]

WE HAVE NOW HAD THE FIRST CASE OF BIRD FLU ON THESE SHORES.

A PARROT SMUGGLED FROM THE LAND WHERE PARROTS SHOULD FLY FREE OR DECIDE NEVER TO BE PARROTED.

THEY WILL NOW LIE AND SAY THE AVIAN FLU HAS NEVER HIT THESE SHORES.

I WANT TO KNOW WHO HANDLED POOR POLLY BEFORE HER DEMISE.

I WANT TO KNOW, WHO STILL MAKES MONEY OUT OF SHIPPING "WILD" BIRDS INTO THE COUNTRY.

I WANT TO KNOW WHO FEELS FIT TO TREAT ANIMALS LIKE SHIT AND THINK THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.

WHAT NEXT?

MAD COW, BIRD, CAT, DOG, HAMSTER DISEASE.

HOPEFULLY.

 

[Nick]

I WANT TO KNOW

WHERE I, TOO, CAN BUY A KEYBOARD THAT ONLY TYPES IN CAPS.