my eyes burn.
the screen scalding them to the point that when i shut them, it feels briefly cool.
i haven't been staring at a screen all day.
i've been crying.
i have always been plagued by and unable to accept the inevitability of life.
our natural progressions haunt me.
make me wish to be immortal.
and choose upon whom i bestow the curse.
for, surely, it would be wearisome as well.
i don't know why i cannot just accept the reality of our humanity.
it's so sad.
but, i have said before, we always end up coping with more than we think we ever could.
i just don't want to.
as lives go, i got handed a pretty good one on some levels.
an extraordinarily shit one on others. truly extraordinarily shit.
but, that's just life, isn't it?
i guess some people get no "good" at all.
i should count myself lucky and think about the good things instead of remaining in an utter panic over the ill on it's way. my poor little head got cross-threaded when it was screwed on.
i don't know what i'm doing. i need to go to bed.
i am feeling better physically, though.
only tiny little breakthru headaches that go away quickly.
new medication.
no opiates, because i was sick of the way they made me feel and all the unstable up and down.
so, this is new. maybe it won't cause something else to go wrong somewhere else.
just to not be in pain is nice for a while.
and to be able to feel normal through the day.
i got my antique market sorted out as well!
made my first two sells today.
that will help me immensely.
being functional.
well, this is lame, it's not an entry so much as a ventry.
we all need to do these from time to time.
i will write something as significant as i can manage next time.
nite nite.
the screen scalding them to the point that when i shut them, it feels briefly cool.
i haven't been staring at a screen all day.
i've been crying.
i have always been plagued by and unable to accept the inevitability of life.
our natural progressions haunt me.
make me wish to be immortal.
and choose upon whom i bestow the curse.
for, surely, it would be wearisome as well.
i don't know why i cannot just accept the reality of our humanity.
it's so sad.
but, i have said before, we always end up coping with more than we think we ever could.
i just don't want to.
as lives go, i got handed a pretty good one on some levels.
an extraordinarily shit one on others. truly extraordinarily shit.
but, that's just life, isn't it?
i guess some people get no "good" at all.
i should count myself lucky and think about the good things instead of remaining in an utter panic over the ill on it's way. my poor little head got cross-threaded when it was screwed on.
i don't know what i'm doing. i need to go to bed.
i am feeling better physically, though.
only tiny little breakthru headaches that go away quickly.
new medication.
no opiates, because i was sick of the way they made me feel and all the unstable up and down.
so, this is new. maybe it won't cause something else to go wrong somewhere else.
just to not be in pain is nice for a while.
and to be able to feel normal through the day.
i got my antique market sorted out as well!
made my first two sells today.
that will help me immensely.
being functional.
well, this is lame, it's not an entry so much as a ventry.
we all need to do these from time to time.
i will write something as significant as i can manage next time.
nite nite.
