Bruises That Won`t Heal

I have felt this sadness deep inside it seems like for ages.It`s a deep,dark pit that goes on forever.I feel like I`m trying to dig my way out but keep sinking deeper and deeper.The only way for the sadness to go away for a litte while is to cut or burn or hit.It lets out everything I can`t say.I`m not the type of person to just let my emotions out.Hurting myself is a way to let these things out.Everything I can`t say everything I can`t scream has to come out.I can let it come out that way.It also proves to me that I`m not dead inside the blood,the burns ,the bruises prove that I really am alive and just not this sad,empty shell of a person.I feel like I have a hole in my heart than can never be filled.I feel like I don`t deserve and am unworthy of love.I sometimes feel empty inside and desperately want something to fill the void.I just feel this deep sadness down to my soul.The only way for it to go away is to cause more pain.The only problem with doing it that way is that it leaves scars.Everytime I look at them I remember.A friend once told me they were a map of my sorrows.

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Lead Fill The Hole In Me
~Radiohead~