Well, I feel like I've been punched in the gut.
I played it off like it was all just fine, but, really, it's not.
This is a deal breaker.
hahah, there's not even a deal, yet.
But still.
And I didn't even know this about myself, because I haven't come across this before.
I feel pretty heinous for feeling this way.
Ok, here goes.
He's a Christian.
And while there are worse things a person could be, I can't process this information in any way other than responding to exactly what it is.
Or, how I see it.
To me, it's no different than if he'd said he believed in the Flying Spaghetti Monster or that he was a Scientologist. They all strike me on the same level.
Since I've spent the whole of my existence in very few relationships and I've never really "dated", as such, I didn't ever think about how I would react to finding out someone I liked was religious.
The core values are fine.
They are basically what society recognizes as acceptable behaviour. Not killing, not stealing, not lying, being respectful of others, you know, things civilized people do anyway.
I wouldn't want to be the one to change his mind, either.
If he has ever really deeply believed, and then I was the one who led him, ahem, "astray", wouldn't he always see me as some sort of proverbial Eve? Responsible for the downfall of his immortal soul?
Yeah, I don't need to be vilified by some potential nutjob as the source of their sin. It just seems like an intellect free zone, a psychological trap door.
Who knows, he may be as mentally healthy as one can be and somehow still believe these things. I can't imagine how, but I'm willing to entertain it as one of the quantum possibilities.
I just didn't see him in the same light after he mentioned it. And to be fair, he didn't say anything else that sounded strange or deficient. But, seriously, that's enough for me.
He is physically very attractive.
And I reckon I'm shallow and vapid because I like my men to be pretty. (makes a W with both hands, rolls eyes, and mouths, WHATEVER)
However, I don't think pretty AND wealthy will outweigh this.
I'm so not cut out for relationships.
I am not at a stage where I have any interest in compromises. I would never enter a relationship just because a man had money.
I've not given any indication that this was some sort of problem for me, because nothing is actually going on.
We had dinner and lunch.
He's a nice guy, I really like being around him.
He didn't like, pray or anything, all he did was say he was raised to be a Christian.
Wait, so was I...that doesn't mean it worked out.
Like I said, there was no other overt weirdness.
I'm willing to wait and see. At least I've discovered how I feel about it. If I had ever really given it a half a thought, I would have known instantly where I stood. It was just interesting to feel how put off I was about something that I myself was raised in, and around.
My family were just good people. They went to church and all but there were no overbearing religious rules or special dress codes or anything like that. My parents have always been advocates of unconditional love. That was their biggest nod to their Christian faith, I think.
Daddy wasn't happy about the fact that I decided it wasn't for me, but he never loved me any differently because of it. He never said I would go to hell for it. They never passed judgments on anybody. They wanted me and Stephen to get married since we decided to have babies, but that was the only way in which their beliefs were ever any sort of issue. They didn't randomly witness to every person that was in ear shot for longer than a minute, in fact, they never discussed their faith, their politics, their personal lives. I never heard my parents have a heated exchange with another human being.
I also never met anyone who knew them who didn't bang on endlessly about how much they love my parents.
It was other people who really made me question it all.
I saw mountains of madness carried out in the name of "GOD" whilst growing up in the South. Once I asked all the right questions, (to which there are NO logical answers), I was done. I was 12 years old when it occurred to me to ask questions.
I do kind of see it as a psychiatric diagnosis in some people. The ones who claim God talks to them. I maintain, if someone hears voices, they are most likely schizophrenic, or something in their environment like a medication or a poison or tumor or other illness is making them have auditory hallucinations.
There are plenty of reasons why people start making divine applications to their own choices and decisions.
And in almost every imaginable case, it has a diagnostic criteria, a pathology, and treatment protocols.
Just sayin'.
Anyway, I'll give the fella the benefit of the doubt.
But, really, I can't see how it would be fair or nice to drag him into my little drama, As the World Burns.
There are people wandering the planet now, knowing that they will never be free of their entanglements to me, the wicked bitch of the first and third worlds. (rofl)
(with New Jersey accent..) AM I WRONG?
Ima shuuuuup now.
I played it off like it was all just fine, but, really, it's not.
This is a deal breaker.
hahah, there's not even a deal, yet.
But still.
And I didn't even know this about myself, because I haven't come across this before.
I feel pretty heinous for feeling this way.
Ok, here goes.
He's a Christian.
And while there are worse things a person could be, I can't process this information in any way other than responding to exactly what it is.
Or, how I see it.
To me, it's no different than if he'd said he believed in the Flying Spaghetti Monster or that he was a Scientologist. They all strike me on the same level.
Since I've spent the whole of my existence in very few relationships and I've never really "dated", as such, I didn't ever think about how I would react to finding out someone I liked was religious.
The core values are fine.
They are basically what society recognizes as acceptable behaviour. Not killing, not stealing, not lying, being respectful of others, you know, things civilized people do anyway.
I wouldn't want to be the one to change his mind, either.
If he has ever really deeply believed, and then I was the one who led him, ahem, "astray", wouldn't he always see me as some sort of proverbial Eve? Responsible for the downfall of his immortal soul?
Yeah, I don't need to be vilified by some potential nutjob as the source of their sin. It just seems like an intellect free zone, a psychological trap door.
Who knows, he may be as mentally healthy as one can be and somehow still believe these things. I can't imagine how, but I'm willing to entertain it as one of the quantum possibilities.
I just didn't see him in the same light after he mentioned it. And to be fair, he didn't say anything else that sounded strange or deficient. But, seriously, that's enough for me.
He is physically very attractive.
And I reckon I'm shallow and vapid because I like my men to be pretty. (makes a W with both hands, rolls eyes, and mouths, WHATEVER)
However, I don't think pretty AND wealthy will outweigh this.
I'm so not cut out for relationships.
I am not at a stage where I have any interest in compromises. I would never enter a relationship just because a man had money.
I've not given any indication that this was some sort of problem for me, because nothing is actually going on.
We had dinner and lunch.
He's a nice guy, I really like being around him.
He didn't like, pray or anything, all he did was say he was raised to be a Christian.
Wait, so was I...that doesn't mean it worked out.
Like I said, there was no other overt weirdness.
I'm willing to wait and see. At least I've discovered how I feel about it. If I had ever really given it a half a thought, I would have known instantly where I stood. It was just interesting to feel how put off I was about something that I myself was raised in, and around.
My family were just good people. They went to church and all but there were no overbearing religious rules or special dress codes or anything like that. My parents have always been advocates of unconditional love. That was their biggest nod to their Christian faith, I think.
Daddy wasn't happy about the fact that I decided it wasn't for me, but he never loved me any differently because of it. He never said I would go to hell for it. They never passed judgments on anybody. They wanted me and Stephen to get married since we decided to have babies, but that was the only way in which their beliefs were ever any sort of issue. They didn't randomly witness to every person that was in ear shot for longer than a minute, in fact, they never discussed their faith, their politics, their personal lives. I never heard my parents have a heated exchange with another human being.
I also never met anyone who knew them who didn't bang on endlessly about how much they love my parents.
It was other people who really made me question it all.
I saw mountains of madness carried out in the name of "GOD" whilst growing up in the South. Once I asked all the right questions, (to which there are NO logical answers), I was done. I was 12 years old when it occurred to me to ask questions.
I do kind of see it as a psychiatric diagnosis in some people. The ones who claim God talks to them. I maintain, if someone hears voices, they are most likely schizophrenic, or something in their environment like a medication or a poison or tumor or other illness is making them have auditory hallucinations.
There are plenty of reasons why people start making divine applications to their own choices and decisions.
And in almost every imaginable case, it has a diagnostic criteria, a pathology, and treatment protocols.
Just sayin'.
Anyway, I'll give the fella the benefit of the doubt.
But, really, I can't see how it would be fair or nice to drag him into my little drama, As the World Burns.
There are people wandering the planet now, knowing that they will never be free of their entanglements to me, the wicked bitch of the first and third worlds. (rofl)
(with New Jersey accent..) AM I WRONG?
Ima shuuuuup now.
