rifke;1986957763 said:
Life and my postings. Well, I don't want to make it seem easy. I don't believe life is easy. The older I become, it requires more tact and presence than ever before. Compounding in complexity and taking me to new places around every corner. It takes me a tremendous conscious effort to steer things in a positive manner that meets with my views as a man and my attempt to follow some morals to living life to the fullest. But also to simply explain the reasoning to the people around me so they know exactly who I am. The flip side to that is to be emotionally connected to other people, I have to listen to who they are and accept them for who they are. I believe what we are subjected to shapes us and although not a rule, some simple thing are very true. We are all individual beings and no one should rob us of our personal feelings, good or bad.
To say I don't have self doubt about myself and the future would be a disservice to how complicated life is.
My son and I recently went and saw dead pool. He is a teenager and after the movie he made a statement that the one sex scene was weird because he just didn't feel ready for that. It sounded to me like a great time to talk just about that.
I asked him if the fight and death scenes affected him in a similar way and he said "no and that's not real", and I responded but love is real. So I told him that between the two types of scenes, he felt he could handle seeing one but not the other that was represented in the movie. He responded that yes that was true for him.
I asked him to explain why and he stumbled to characterize why he felt that way. I stated to him that maybe because he has been exposed to more violence on TV, movies and video games and that he had been exposed less to two adult people who care for each other, showing affection in what I clarified as behavior that is common among adults.
So I proffered to him and asked, why would we as people accept that we can handle violence through regularity but turn away from love between two people. I didn't want to immediately change him but I wanted him to see the difference in the feelings about the subjects and how complicated thinking can be about life.
I cannot protect him from everything. He is also not a robot that I can just feed information and then he magically has a adult processed thinking awareness. I can only ask him the conflict question. He is then allowed to wonder why it is this way in his head. Hopefully he can see the conflict and use that same question of "why would I think" this or that about things so he can choose his truth of who he is for himself.
A moment so simple, but clearly complicated in how it can be addressed. Or you can just completely overlook it and not care, hoping this little guy gets the tools of life from all that life has to offer, which at this point, has him fine with one part of life but not all of it, good and bad.
You've got to point out the good, if you don't do it, who will. That is not easy, for anyone.
