I see those so-lowers have been at it again over those ludicrous shoes. It's doing my good name no good. No good at all... Meeting brain-injured Premiership reserve footballers is one thing, but one has to draw a line in the sand over self-promotion. One will simply not be associated with shoes that look like they should have spurs on the back of them at some Texan cowboy convention... Besides one could easily have a fatal car accident wearing those shoes...
Now hang on a moment. Who on Earth would wear those shoes? Name a single person dull, tasteless and frankly stupid enough to wear them. Yes, that's right. Joyce. he's desperate. He'll wear anything as long as it's free. Just look at him. So I wonder what might happen if I were to get Boz to buy a pair off eBay, nail on a couple of spurs, and send them on to old Joyce as an early birthday present, anonymously of course. And then he gets into the crusty Montego Van Den Plas to pop to Iceland. And my finger prints are nowhere... Deux Souliers jam the pedal down, spurs get stuck in the appalling deep pile carpet and Joyce's face hits some concrete underpass wall at seventy-five. No crumple zone in the old Montego. Thank God for British Leyland... It's Diana all over again, sans tears.
And I'll just retain a few of these old vaguely threatening poison pen letters I got Boz to write Joyce back in the late 90s... and it will look like an accident, or otherwise murder by Boz. And who will believe a man that looks like Boz? No one. Not even Weeksy would fail to see the obvious criminal gene endemic in the Boorer clan. In fact I would hazard a guess old Weeksy has sent a couple of the Boorers down. And... oh dear... His incarceration will spell the end of his rather expensive contract as musical director, clearing the way for a promotion from within for Jesse - the cheapest 'musical director' in human history. Then I can begin the search for a new lead guitarist. Now, about this charming Busted boy... I'll break even by 2012 if it's the last thing I do...
Morrissey
www.morrisseysworld.blogspot.com