The Drivel Thread

[Light Housework]

I don’t feel up to painting at all.

 

[Light Housework]

After lying down for a while, the hint of nausea is gone and my appetite is back. My lung’s not hurting. But I expect the pain to return. My lung still feels sickly. I’m not in the mood to paint. I won’t forget having felt so bad earlier. I will again feel so bad, soon, I expect. The rattling cough just happened now, and my lung feels ominous and I will probably lie back down soon. I’m not expecting any more reprieves from feeling sickly. I’m pretty sure I won’t make it to the November art show. I am enjoying having my appetite back and eating an orange, some tahini, and a cucumber. I don’t feel like watching videos of you or painting portraits of you right now Morrissey. I wouldn’t make good company as I am currently. I’m feeling quite sorry for myself and am jealous of people who enjoy robust health. The way my lung feels isn’t romantic. I feel screwed, and uninspired. The sensation in my right lung is distracting and has my attention in its grip.

 

[nicky wire's legs]

I hope you get answers soon.

She does have an answer: it's called schizophrenia

 

[Light Housework]

Although my right lung doesn’t feel okay, it’s been better than yesterday. Nausea hasn’t plagued me today. I just rattle coughed now, after feeling some discomfort crop up in my affected lung. It’s demoralizing, and I don’t feel like writing Morrissey sticky notes, though I’m hoping I will go for a walk this evening. I might just go back to bed, as that’s where my lung seems to do best. Lying down. It’s feeling worse as I write this post, after lying down earlier. I walked to the cafe with a mental health worker this afternoon, and my lung bothered me a little with her, and now, it seems to be ramping up again, reminding me of how bad I felt yesterday. It’s not looking good for me. I don’t feel like painting, or watching videos of Morrissey. I wish Morrissey, you’d contact me somehow before I’m gone, but I’m losing hope that you will. I wanted to feel the touch of your hand before I go. I still want to, though I feel sickly in my lung. I can’t help but think that you will never touch me, and I’ve begun to resign myself to that seeming probability. I can’t keep hoping for you to finally touch me, with my lung feeling this way and no sign from you that you want to see me before it’s too late. My lung feels awful right now, though it’s not an acute pain presently. It just feels very, very infected. I will try to go for a walk at 7PM.

 

[Light Housework]

I went for my walk along my usual route, and my lung didn’t bother me. I had hoped you’d be at my door when I got home Morrissey. It feels pleasant to hope to be with you. I’m enjoying not feeling bad at the moment, though I know it won’t last. I don’t know if I’ll paint today, tomorrow, or even the next day, because feeling so bad on Sunday was a terrible blow to my morale, and even as I write this post, my right lung is getting my attention as the sickly sensation comes again to the fore.

“We all lose."

 

[Light Housework]

I’ll Never Be Anybody’s Hero Now

 

[Light Housework]

Seeing this posted by This Charming Bowie has cheered me up, despite my right lung feeling plagued. I will clean myself up, write some Morrissey sticky notes, and go for a walk.

 

[Light Housework]

I enjoyed writing up some sticky notes, am feeling cheerful, and my lung is not feeling terrible. Still sickly, but right now it’s not overwhelming. This astronaut is going for a walk soon, and Morrissey, if you don’t put your arms around me today, I will do my best to maintain hope that the day you will is coming soon. If I come home alone, I hope to paint, clean, and watch a movie, and maybe some Morrissey concert footage too, plus do some writing. I wonder what exactly you’re smirking about in the above photo. I know it’s something good. Be with you soon I hope.

 

[The Queen of Batons]

I enjoyed writing up some sticky notes, am feeling cheerful, and my lung is not feeling terrible. Still sickly, but right now it’s not overwhelming. This astronaut is going for a walk soon, and Morrissey, if you don’t put your arms around me today, I will do my best to maintain hope that the day you will is coming soon. If I come home alone, I hope to paint, clean, and watch a movie, and maybe some Morrissey concert footage too, plus do some writing. I wonder what exactly you’re smirking about in the above photo. I know it’s something good. Be with you soon I hope.

Smirk is right. Seems to have lost the ability to smile in public. I like the old footage of genuine smiles and giggling.

 

[nicky wire's legs]

I enjoyed writing up some sticky notes, am feeling cheerful, and my lung is not feeling terrible. Still sickly, but right now it’s not overwhelming. This astronaut is going for a walk soon, and Morrissey, if you don’t put your arms around me today, I will do my best to maintain hope that the day you will is coming soon. If I come home alone, I hope to paint, clean, and watch a movie, and maybe some Morrissey concert footage too, plus do some writing. I wonder what exactly you’re smirking about in the above photo. I know it’s something good. Be with you soon I hope.

Cheese factor: 10000000000000000

 

[Light Housework]

I gave several Morrissey sticky notes away today, and one man and his wife on my way back home, said that they checked out Morrissey’s music and like it. They’re going to a Black Crows concert tonight at the Queen Elizabeth theatre, and told me to listen to their song She Talks to Angels. Another guy was doing stretches in the park, and said he likes Morrissey, and asked if I hear him in my head while I’m doing my walks and I said yes. At the time, I was hearing Spent the Day In Bed in my head. I’m not feeling too bad right now, and have hope that I will get several things done that I want to this evening. I got to pet a dog that showed he appreciated it, belonging to one of my neighbours. That was gratifying.

 

[Light Housework]

I’ll put this here to remind me to listen to it later.

 

[Light Housework]

From my walk today.

 

[Lucifer Sam]

Is that your neighborhood, Light Housework? From the encounters you describe, I've always pictured you living in the part of town where all the tent camps of the homeless junkies are. I'll have to recalibrate. Also, I just learned on X (formerly known as Twitter) that Sadie Sink, the actress who's going to play you in the movie based on this thread, is a vegan.

 

[Light Housework]

Grantley Hall is coming along.

 

[Light Housework]

Is that your neighborhood, Light Housework? From the encounters you describe, I've always pictured you living in the part of town where all the tent camps of the homeless junkies are. I'll have to recalibrate. Also, I just learned on X (formerly known as Twitter) that Sadie Sink, the actress who's going to play you in the movie based on this thread, is a vegan.

That is my neighbourhood. It’s my regular route, up the hill, through the park, and back down to go home. It’s a beautiful spring day to be wearing sweatpants and a fleece hoodie over a flannel shirt, carrying Morrissey sticky notes in the shirt pocket. I wonder if the crows will go into dive bomb mode again this spring as they protect their offspring. Hasn’t happened yet this spring. I always hope that if they do dive bomb me they’ll go for my hair bun rather than my flesh. An umbrella provides good protection from it.

 

[JerryCan]

... Also, I just learned on X (formerly known as Twitter) that Sadie Sink, the actress who's going to play you in the movie based on this thread, is a vegan.

Everybody's in movies...

 

[Light Housework]

Felt nauseous again last night, but laying down stopped it. Up now and it’s stopped. Woke up with I Live In Oblivion playing in my head. It’s a beautiful song. I met an artist yesterday, who paints in acrylics. She was good to talk with. From Japan. Lives in the West End here in Vancouver with her partner. A mental health worker introduced me to her at the cafe yesterday. She has her work up in the cafe. I told her about Morrissey and she asked me if I’ve met him. I said that I believe I have, and she picked up on the word ‘believe’, and I explained that people tend not to believe that I have met him, and I told her about several times, that went wrong, when he tried to be with me. She was a good listener, able to keep her disbelief out of the way and feel how important it is to me. That was what her focus was, how I felt about him, not whether what I was saying actually happened or not. I told her that my mental health worker doesn’t believe it happened, and the worker balked at that. It’s not clear to me, whether my worker believes me or not. So far this morning, my right lung hasn’t bothered me. I expect it to before long though.

 

[nicky wire's legs]

Wouldn't it just have been nice to have had a normal conversation with the Japanese artist rather than finding a way to shoehorn your delusions into it for the sake of your own ego? you probably created an icky spot in her day, when you could've just kept it light.

 

[Light Housework]

I talked to my counsellor this morning about having wished for death, until Morrissey sung out my name and appeared soon afterward. I had wished a heart attack would end my life, but now, I’m generally seeking to enjoy my life as much as I can, and hoping that if I can’t enjoy my own life, then to assist others to enjoy theirs at least, though sometimes lately, I do wish for a sudden death, rather than what I think I’m in for, the slow deepening and spreading of the mold infection in my right lung. At this moment, I’m just valuing any enjoyment I can perceive, of my own. For instance, still being able to draw a full breath, despite my right lung feeling sickened, and, bathing without feeling nauseous, and smelling clean afterward with my hair blown dry and put up out of my way, in my freshly washed Morrissey t-shirt.