I'm just a jealous girl..

bikubesong

bikubesong

sober and in celibacy
Erm, what happens, I'm head over heels about this boy I've been dating for about a month, and I got no reason to think he's not in love with me too, or that he's cheating, or anything, BUT... why am I so jealous everytime he's with my best (girl) friend whenever Im not there too? I know they've been friends for a while, and that they like being with eachother, but as friends. We've talked about this many times, and I've cried like a baby.. Even though I know nothing happens between them, her flirting that makes me mad! She flirts with everyone, and it's not the first time she's been after one of my bf's:( This of course makes our relationship worse and worse, and I dunno how to handle it... And many times he's at parties with her, without me, although he always carefully asks me first, and even asks me to go with him..

Any advice how to handle this feeling?:o
 
bikubesong said:
Erm, what happens, I'm head over heels about this boy I've been dating for about a month, and I got no reason to think he's not in love with me too, or that he's cheating, or anything, BUT... why am I so jealous everytime he's with my best (girl) friend whenever Im not there too? I know they've been friends for a while, and that they like being with eachother, but as friends. We've talked about this many times, and I've cried like a baby.. Even though I know nothing happens between them, her flirting that makes me mad! She flirts with everyone, and it's not the first time she's been after one of my bf's:( This of course makes our relationship worse and worse, and I dunno how to handle it... And many times he's at parties with her, without me, although he always carefully asks me first, and even asks me to go with him..

Any advice how to handle this feeling?:o
Click to expand...


hit her:)
 
Cassius said:
It sounds like your friend is not much of a friend, to be honest.
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well, she is really ok, I think it's me making a big deal out of it.. And it makes me mad not managing to handle it, I wanna shout at them everytime i see them, but that's too silly, and he has to convince me again and again he dun like her that way. So.. ahhhhhhhhh
 
Cassius said:
No it's not. Yes, maybe you should trust your boyfriend more, but being wary of her is smart, not overreaction.
Click to expand...
I should talk to her again... I guess.. last time I took all responsibility.. I dunno.. She is not much of a friend, I have to admit, I hate her. :mad: I'll pee in her perfume bottle, and then break up with her:) Hmmmmm... probably
 
bikubesong said:
Any advice how to handle this feeling?:o
Click to expand...

You are far too immature and emotionally unstable to be in a relationship.

If you get so insanely jealous over him so much as talking to other women or even being friendly with them, then you have some serious issues. It's a miracle he hasn't dumped YOU yet.

I know I wouldn't put up with someone who went off the handle every time I talked to someone else.

Have you ever considered seeing a therapist? I'm not being mean here or condescending, but it is very apparent you have several mental issues here that need to be addressed. You should take care of your own problems before ever getting into a relationship with anyone. It's not fair to you, and certainly not to them.
 
Arsenal said:
You are far too immature and emotionally unstable to be in a relationship.
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biki is better than you in every possible way arsie, any man would be lucky to date her
while any woman that mistakenly goes near you, well, i fear for, seriously, still, a day or two aint gonna change that, you bad bad man!
 
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Arsenal said:
You are far too immature and emotionally unstable to be in a relationship.

If you get so insanely jealous over him so much as talking to other women or even being friendly with them, then you have some serious issues. It's a miracle he hasn't dumped YOU yet.

I know I wouldn't put up with someone who went off the handle every time I talked to someone else.

Have you ever considered seeing a therapist? I'm not being mean here or condescending, but it is very apparent you have several mental issues here that need to be addressed. You should take care of your own problems before ever getting into a relationship with anyone. It's not fair to you, and certainly not to them.
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Thanks, I'm pretty mentally stabile..
 
bikubesong said:
Thanks, I'm pretty mentally stabile..
Click to expand...

I didn't say you weren't. I said by your own admission you have mental issues, uncontrollable jealously (which is totally healthy and normal btw!) is one of them.

You admit you have all these problems, ask for advice and then when someone attempts to have a dialouge with you over it, you just get defensive and tell them you are fine, even though you just admitted in your post you are far from it.

If that's how you want to play it, sure. Don't be surprised if he does cheat on you, because your attitude towards him will result in passive aggressive behaviour, and cheating is a direct result of that.

Oh my god said:
biki is better than you in every possible way arsie, any man would be lucky to date her
while any woman that mistakenly goes near you, well, i fear fear, seriously, still, a day or two aint gonna change that, you bad bad man!
Click to expand...

Says the guy who cries because every woman he's been with leaves him. Thanks, but I'll trust my own judgment over yours.
 
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bikubesong said:
Erm, what happens, I'm head over heels about this boy I've been dating for about a month, and I got no reason to think he's not in love with me too, or that he's cheating, or anything, BUT... why am I so jealous everytime he's with my best (girl) friend whenever Im not there too? I know they've been friends for a while, and that they like being with eachother, but as friends. We've talked about this many times, and I've cried like a baby.. Even though I know nothing happens between them, her flirting that makes me mad! She flirts with everyone, and it's not the first time she's been after one of my bf's:( This of course makes our relationship worse and worse, and I dunno how to handle it... And many times he's at parties with her, without me, although he always carefully asks me first, and even asks me to go with him..

Any advice how to handle this feeling?:o
Click to expand...

Firstly- you need to say something to her. Along the lines of "i'd prefer it if you didn't flirt with my boyfriend. I don't like it." If she's any sort of a friend she'll be mortified and stop immediately. If she doesn't stop, cross her off your christmas card list, love.

Secondly- why not go to some of these parties etc? or arrange to do some stuff by yourself, as a couple?

you sound very insecure. very like me in fact. there's no easy solution, just build trust slowly but don't let your insecurities dominate the relationship. maybe ask yourself why you feel this way and talk to someone you can trust.

x
 
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